Tiger Woods & Stevie Wonder are in a bar.
Tiger turns to Stevie and says, “How’s the singing career going?”
Stevie replies, “Not too bad. How’s the golf?”
Woods replies, “Not too bad, I’ve had some problems with my swing, but I think I’ve got that right, now.”
Stevie says, “I always find that when my swing goes wrong, I need to stop playing for a while and not think about it. Then, the next time I play, it seems to be all right.”
Incredulous, Tiger says, “You play GOLF?”
Stevie says, “Yes, I’ve been playing for years.”
Tiger says, “But — you’re blind! How can you play golf if you can’t see?”
Stevie Wonder replies, “Well, I get my caddy to stand in the middle of the fairway and call to me. I listen for the sound of his voice and play the ball towards him. Then, when I get to where the ball lands, the caddy moves to the green or farther down the fairway and again I play the ball towards his voice.”
But, “how do you putt” asks Tiger.
“Well”, says Stevie, “I get my caddy to lean down in front of the hole and call to me with his head on the ground and I just play the ball toward his voice.”
Tiger asks, “What’s your handicap?”
Stevie says, “Well, actually — I’m a scratch golfer.”
Woods, incredulous, says to Stevie, “We’ve got to play a round sometime.”
Stevie replies, “Well, people don’t take me seriously, so I only play for money, and never play for less than $10,000 a hole. Is that a problem?”
Woods thinks about it and says, “I can afford that; OK, I’m game for that.. $10,000 a hole is fine with me. When would you like to play?”
Stevie Wonder says, “Pick a night.”Add a comment
If you think it’s getting a bit fresh over here, spare a thought for the golfers in the (still) frozen UK. With a wind chill factor of -9 at the local we have nothing but admiration for this brave bunch. And yes, the putt did go in. And no, no penalty was incurred for leaving the flagstick in. They tried to attend it and it stuck to someone’s hand, so was declared a health and safety issue; a committee meeting was held and a local rule put in place for the morning. Really.Add a comment
Well, unless you’re freakily naturally gifted, quite hard apparently (I’m sure you knew that bit already).
One man who is endeavouring to find out is Dan McLaughlin, a native of Portland, Oregan who, a couple of years ago decided to give up his day job and spend 10,000 hours on his pursuit to go from being an average everyday hacker to a tour pro enjoying fame and fortune.
Why 10,000 hours? It’s not by accident. Psychology Prof K Anders Ericsson at Florida State University spent a few decades researching what makes people excel in life and stated that anybody can become really good at anything if they dedicate 10,000 hours to that pursuit. So Dan thought, why not!
He’s currently 2,700 hours and 2 years into his epic journey and down to a single figure handicap. So far, so good. But as we all know, getting from single digits to the magical scratch is the tough bit.
Check out the full story in this month’s Golf Monthly or follow Dan’s journey at www.thedanplan.com
Let’s hope he makes it to the tour, it’ll give us all an excuse to knock off work early and head down the range!
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Don’t worry, we haven’t gone a bit funny and slightly over estimated our talent (although if I could just fix that “fade”). We’re not planning on heading to Augusta next April either, but to a slightly closer “Augusta”.
On The Green magazine (www.OTGmag.com.au) are having their very own Masters at the Augusta of Australia, Bonville GC. To be played over the Masters weekend it’ll include 3 rounds of golf at the magnificent Bonville course and lots of merriment and embarrassing moments no doubt!
Go to otgmag.com.au to sign up for a great FREE golf magazine delivered to your computer or iPad and if you’re up for it…see you at the Masters next April…Add a comment
Gokart recently spent a marvellous weekend in the company of a couple of hundred hackers. No, we weren’t at the local pitch and put, but the 2012 Hacker Cup played, as usual, at the beautiful Eagle Ridge Golf Club on Melbourne’s Mornington Peninsula.
A couple of things struck me during the weekend that I though I’d share with you all. Actually a few things struck me….but we won’t mention the post round goings on….you’ll need to sign for next years event to find them out!
1. Golf is a social game. Yeah, yeah we know that, I hear you say but how many times have you played recently and really enjoyed your game. enjoyed the camaraderie of 4 mates smacking a little white ball around the countryside without worrying about things like “that’s my handicap blown out again” or “the group in front is playing too slow…I’ll be in trouble when I get home for being late…again!”
2. Golf is like life. A bit philosophical for these blogs I know, but I’ll explain why in a minute.
During the Hacker Cup I was in a group with 3 others I had never met before, came from different areas of Melbourne to myself, no doubt had different socio-economic backgrounds to myself….and we had a ball. Why? Well largely because of the way the Hacker Cup is (dis)organised by the host and Hacker Magazine editor, Garry Kennedy. It’s all very laid back, people are paired with whomever, we all put the day/weekend aside for golf and festivities and prizes are generally awarded based on random thoughts of the host. This means that nobody is in much of a hurry on the course, bad shots/holes are treated with laughter/mockery and everyone is relaxed and enjoys the day.
Now to life…..We are all in a race to get somewhere first, catching those ahead or keeping ahead of those behind. We generally stick to our own circles, whether that be locality or socio-economic or cultural backgrounds.
So, although we may say from time to time how much we enjoy our life or job or surroundings, how much better would it be if life could be organised like the Hacker Cup……Garry Kennedy for Prime Minister!!!Add a comment 2 Comments
Now I’ll happily admit I’m what the golfing fraternity would class as a hacker. There’s no denying the fact – I’ll chop and hack my way round the countryside every week and be happy with the odd green in regulation or bunker shot that heads vaguely towards the pin.
But at the back of my mind (and most hackers I’d imagine) is that nagging thought that I could be up there with the greats….or at least single figure handicappers. Short fat blokes can do it (sorry Woosie and Craig – you’re actually my heroes) so why can’t I?
Now here’s the conundrum – will I get better if I buy some fancy clubs, or should I improve in order to justify some fancy clubs???
Go on, you’ve all bought some flash clubs at some point and then around 12 months later you’ve realised you need a shovel and sand bucket instead of the Ping blades that cost you $200 an iron! Ebay is littered with them being sold under the premise that “the wife/husband bought me some new clubs for Christmas” or “they were a prize and I don’t play golf much”……sound familiar?
I’ve got my eye on a new driver and putter that have been used to stunning effect at 2 of this years majors by our young Aussie hero Jason Day. But would my golf improve just by having the best kit around in proportion to how much my wallet would be lightened?
You see, we’re getting to the crux of the matter here – there’s a mathematical equation to consider when buying new clubs. We also need to calculate how happy our spouse will be with our new purchase (always a critical factor if we’re to be allowed to vanish for hours on end every weekend!)
Put simply it’s….
Expenditure = Movement in handicap x Charity levels of spouse
or in my case of buying a new driver and putter
So there you have it…Einstein certainly knew his golf…..Add a comment